2012

Going into the final semester at college, all of us are apprehensive about our future. Should I jump the GATE, or bell the CAT?? Or should I just settle down with a job?? These are the main questions concerning us right now. But time and again, new questions pop up.

‘2012’, the movie was an eye opener for most of us. Even though I haven’t seen the movie, I was fascinated by the possibility of the world that we know, ending one fine morning.

The following was a sms conversation that happened between a friend and me, during

midnight, when incidentally, I was googling for the fact and fiction about 2012.

Friend: “Awake?”

Me: “Yeah.. Readin abt 2012..”

Friend: “Had a stupid panic attack about dying. Had to talk to someone”

Me: “Wo.. Are you tryin to scare me?? Or did you really feel lik dying?? I was thinkin of all d things i wanted to do, if world ended in 2012..;-)”

Friend: “You believe in god right?”

Me: “Yeah.. N i believe he 'll keep me alive as long as he wants me to live.. But for now, i jst want simple wish. To be d king of d survivin humans, if somethin bad happens in 2012..;-)”

Friend: “I didnt feel like dying. I was just panicking about the stuff afterwards. What if there is nothing after?”

Me: “If there is nothin aftr, i won’t be d least worried.. Cos then, I'll be in heaven.. At least i hope to be there.. N if i'm stil aliv, I'll happy cos GOD chose me to continue the human race..”

Friend: “That is the problem. What if there is nothing like heaven and god. What if it is all a lie we tell ourselves?”

Me: “in tht case, v wont be around to think abt it.. Btw 2 things 4 u to do.. See 'I am legend' n visit d site www.survive2012.com.. 1st tells u wht happens if u are alone in d wrld.. n 2nd gives you facts about 2012”

Friend: “I never want to stop existing :(“

Me: “I'm repeatin d same thing here.. Even if it happens, it'll only be in d last few secs tht u get this thought of non-existence.. Til then, no prob.. After tht, no prob..”

Friend: “I dont care about 2012. The world won’t end then.”

After this, there was a ten minute break.

Me: “U still desp?? Dont be.. K.. If it happens, we get 3 more yrs.. If you want to feel better, think abt d fact that anyone can die in d next sec..

So live til u cease living..:-)”

Friend: “Me thinks it is all this studying and staying home alone tht did this to me. It will be over by tomorrow. Tomorrow is bro's Bday”

Me: “Thts great.. Wish him a happy bday from me.. Btw lik u said, maybe its d loneliness thts causin this.. We've our last sem frm next wk.. So think abt tht frm nw..”

Friend: “Life will go on for us :) . Thanks for the talk. Am back to normal i think. Gnite :)”

This is just a normal conversation happening instantaneously. Even though the words and sentences came out without much prior thought, there are a few points to be noted from here.

1) We all don’t want to die. That’s for certain. We want to live as long as we can.

2) The world’s end at 2012 has made us question the existence of heaven and hell, but mainly we wonder if there is anyone called GOD.

3) Even in the midst of all these doubts regarding our very existence, we still find time to celebrate moments like birthdays and final semesters.

Every blog must have an aim, a purpose. That’s been my motive. But I just don’t know what

I mean to do with this one. Whether it’s to point out the subtleties of human nature or my fascination about the whole concept of the world ending, I just don’t know.

Bible is said to have predicted 2000 A.D. as the end of the world. But nothing happened. You may say this gives more reason for calling the Mayan theory a hoax. But the Mayans were even more advanced than 19th century scientists. They had calculated the no of days in a year to .01% error in 3000 B.C. It was only in the early 20th century that scientists could reach that accuracy. But we have to remember that the Mayans did that sans gadgets. So, considering the fact that the Bible came out in the beginning of the 1st century, it could have erred by some 13 years. That puts the Mayan theory on the correct track.

Only a handful of Mayan books are known to the world, thanks to a Spanish priest. He ordered all books to be burned; because he didn’t want the world to follow the Mayan principle of human sacrifice. The books that have escaped, along with the engravings on the Mayan buildings, give us an idea about their calendar. It is not endless like our calendars. Mayans believed that everything in life is a cycle. Their calendar cycles are at 5125 years interval. From what has been deciphered, it is known that the Mayans believed that a great change will occur at the end of each cycle.

The pessimistic philosophers keep saying that a comet would come and hit the earth; the magnetic poles would reverse causing the earth to stop its rotation; earthquake all over the world; nuclear holocaust; anything bad could happen, according to them.

Some of my optimistic friends sat that it will be just a change in the order of the world; some even going to the extent of saying that our dear India will be at the top of the world.

These people may know or don’t know about what they are talking about. But I do know that I believe in the efficiency theory. Every system has a peak. If it tries to go beyond that, it will slowly deteriorate, and finally breakdown. There are plenty of examples around you to support that theory. Now consider the earth with all its inhabitants as a system. It is evident that we have attained the peak of being civilized a long time ago. Look around you. Murder, arson, rapes, conspiracies, death, famines, floods aplenty. Lawlessness seems to be holding good for both Mother Nature, and us humans.

To end, all of us will be waiting with bated breath for the gloomiest day of 2012, the winter solstice happening on December 21st, to know whether the world’s gonna end.

The Last Wish

16.08.09

"Do you remember your ammumma's chettan...? He was tall... Like you... I think taller than you... Six feet four... Five..... No one was there to take care of him in the end... We decided to take care of him... He was bed ridden…... He had asked me to get him a bottle of kallu in the end... He said even a half would be enough... I asked him how I could get him that, when I have never bought one...”

“He said... There is a shaap at the junction... Just go in and tell my name... They'll give you my usual....... But I could not bring alcohol inside the house to give to a sick old man... My morals and the fear of what society will say made me reject his request…... A few of his fellow drinking friends used to visit him... I asked him to get the stuff through them………. He died without getting that last drop...... I have never felt bad about what I did till now... But now my conscience is hurting... I feel his pain because I’m in the same stage now... It would be same, if someone didn’t get me a cigarette or a pakku before I die…”

“One doesn’t know how much longer one is going to live at my stage... Getting one last chance of enjoying our favorite thing will be heaven on earth for us….. I declined that chance for him……. I did a terrible thing…... It was wrong…... I should have bought him that….. I could not understand him then…...”

“What if someone doesn’t understand me at my end...? I just wish that I don’t have to be bed ridden... I don’t want to make my children suffer... I want to die in one go….... You know, the best death is when you die in your sleep... You go to bed like always... You close your eyes... You never wake up…... But only lucky people get that... I hope I’m lucky…...”

“Why are you talking like this?? You are not that old... You'll live long...”

“What will I get by living a longer life?? I will be causing more trouble for you...”

“Taking care of you is not a trouble... It’s our duty...”

“It’s a duty….. But as I get older, my bodily systems will get weaker... I'll need help... Always….. Then, it'll be troublesome for both you and me... And I don’t have much more to see in this world... I would just like to see your chechi's marriage and you getting a job... Just one more year will be enough for me... I just hope that I don’t get bed ridden.......”

21.08.09

12.20pm

"Sorry... The person who collects the bus fees has gone out... Please wait outside...”

“Now, we gotta wait till he gets back..... My phone's ringing... It’s from home...”

“Kannan, come home now….. Appupan is not well... Its urgent…get here fast...”

“Aliya, it was my Mom... She said Appupan is not well... She was crying... I'm going home... Tell others... K...”

Mom meets me at the gate... She's not crying... Though it seems that she was crying... Mom takes my helmet from my hand... She starts crying... In the midst, she says, "Appupan poi."

He went the way he liked... He fell down unconscious in front of our gate on his way home from the barber's... No broken bones or anything... Just a few scratches... I felt guilty... I could not give him the perfect exit... I must have got him his last cigarette, or at least his last pakku... I would feel guilty about it forever... Since I had planned stocking one of each at home, if the need arose... But I didn’t think the end would happen so soon...

Slowly the news of his last few actions came in... He had talked to people standing just near our house... They said he was cheerful and hadn’t shown any pain or exhaustion... The doctor also said that he died because his heart stopped beating... Not a stroke, but his heart just stopped pumping blood... So the end came fast like he liked...

Then came the message that made me happy... The local grocery man came to the funeral... He said, "Sir had come to my shop before coming home... We talked for a long time... Just before leaving, he bought a packet of pakku...”

That line told me why he was smiling even when he went down... He was savoring the taste, while coming home... Little did anyone know that it was he was taking last chance...?

Ever since my chechi's marriage was fixed, Appupan wanted it to happen no matter what happened to him... So, keeping in mind his last wish, we are going ahead with the marriage... That’s the least we can do for him now...

I would like to end this with words taken from a post we received from a colleague of Appupan...

"I pray to Lord Padbhanabha that may his noble soul rest in eternal peace"

I

In spite of the variety in shape, size, habitat, etc, there are four things common to all living beings.
1. Food
2. Air
3. Water
4. Sexual Union

Any sane man will be able to validate the above statements. But, it would also be the same as saying that us, humans, are like the billions of creatures that inhibit this planet. But no sane man will say that the humans, who have infected the land all over the world like an epidemic, are just the same as the common snail.

It is said that GOD created the world in one go – you know, the Big Bang. He was pleased and proud of what he created. But the problem was how long one can hear oneself speak good of himself. Eventually, after a few million years, he got bored. That’s when he decided that “Enough is enough. I’ll give a special gift to one of my creations. “

And so he gave MANKIND the gift of KNOWLEDGE. And it’s with that, we built this world. And for each step we took – from taking the first step on moon to passing the last university exam, we thanked him in different forms – as Krishna, as Jesus, as Allah, etc. Though all of us say “Thank You” to different persons, basically, we are saying that to the same person.

But, right now, I’m not here to talk about religion. I’m here to try to find a few answers. Recently, a friend asked me about a good topic for an amateur blogger. Among the topics we discussed, the one which really interested me was “Why would you live for another day?” Or in simpler terms, “What makes you drag yourself to college every day?”

Think of all the reasons anyone would live for. Take my case. For the person I love, for the people who love me, for the dream that I have. These reasons are different for different persons. But they are all based on one common reality. It’s all about “I”.

‘I’ is the purest form of selfishness. Me, mine, my, etc are used to emphasize it. It wouldn’t be wrong to say that the whole world was built on the selfishness of our ancestors, and it runs on our selfishness. All the good and the bad in this world are the result of some selfish act.

There is selfishness when a Jawan says, “I’ll die for MY country.” There is selfishness when a thief says, “Give ME your money.” There was selfishness when Gandhiji asked for OUR freedom. There will always be selfishness when a politician asks for OUR vote for OUR uplift.

Returning to our simple lives, you may not have noticed selfishness, but surely, after just thinking about it, you would clearly accept the fact that SELFISHNESS is everywhere. Words fail me to explain this. It’s something that has to be experienced – the selfishness in helping a friend, in writing an exam, etc can’t be actually taught by word.

So, to sum everything up, the answer to my question is “Selfishness”. The type of selfishness defines the person we are. I can say honestly that I’m selfish in a good way. What about you??

The Pirates are coming

Q. How did the video ‘Pinneyum Palavattam’ come to be??

1. Perfectly planned by the Pirates.

2. Fools striking gold.

3. Parents pressurized us into doing it.

4. Its destiny.

Ans. 4. It’s DESTINY.

 

Actually, it’s just that all the things fell into place in such a manner that even we were dumbstruck to see it come out to perfection.

How it all started off...

It all began in another eventful lunch break, when some of us guys were seeing the original ’Palavattam’. After the video was over, Krishnadev aka Kichu said jokingly that I would be the apt choice for the protaingoist, if a second video of the same song was made. Even though he had reasons beyond similar looks for saying that, the idea just clicked with us pirates. We were the ones who wanted to make a mark on the map of CET, and this was the mother of all opportunities looking at out face. After showing our skills in the technical side, we wanted to do something that could be called cultural. And that’s when we decided to make ‘Pinneyum Palavattam’

 

Start Camera Action

It was just wonderful. Dlp took up the job of being the creative head. He was to be the script writer, director and cameraman, all rolled into one. And he did this mini-Balachandra Menon act to perfection. Cak was going to be the choreographer and I was to be Technical support. While Cak searched the net for cool dance moves, I downloaded video and sound editing softwares in Gbs. (Lucky that I had no download limit). Sid, Shiv and Dpk were to give inputs to us.

The biggest problem we faced in the beginning was what to shoot with.  No one had a digicam. Next choice was mobile phone. We did a few trials with the phones we had, and found out that Nokia 6233 was the best choice we had.

So with a 2.0 megapixel camera and 640 X 480 pixels resolutions, we started shooting some dummy scenes to get some experience. Sad to say, I had only a not-so-good actor in me. And he was pulled out with great effort by Dlp. He had patience and faith that only a saint would show.

 We took every free hour, every strike and even the precious lunch hours to work on the video. Doing this meant that, we missed cricket, pancharayadi and delicious food for work. But we knew. For gaining the better, the lesser has to be sacrificed.

Cut or Pack-Up??

The whole video was of three and a half minutes. Even after five months into shooting, we had completed only about a minute of it or so. The rate at which we were shooting was slower than the storyline of art films, courtesy our university and our college.

When the going gets tough, the tough gets going. Obviously we weren’t the tough type. And we weren’t the professional type either. Or else, we would never have mixed work with personal life. And once that happened, to say that all hell broke loose would be an understatement.  Just picturise this. If we went for an hour of shooting, we would spend 8 minutes pratizising it, 2 minutes shooting it, and the rest I would spent fighting with Shiv. This went on so much that Sid decided to leave. He said,” I came here for having some fun, not see you two bickering.” Next thing we saw was Sid leaving. And with him went Shiv, making me feel like I was the worst possible case of Homo sapiens.

The course of events that followed were such that we didn’t shoot for the next few months. Was it just another ‘Cut’ or the final ‘Pack-Up’, we didn’t know then.

 

The Phoenix rises

The unceasing flow of exams and other work, sponsored by the evil forces, made sure that the video couldn’t be completed even though the differences between Shiv and me were cleared.  The year 2008 passed away without fulfilling our hope, and we sort of lost our urge to shoot.

But when the Phoenix rose in CET, we decided that being CETians meant one thing – NEVER GIVE UP. By undergoing countless exams, hell-like labs, never ending records, not-so-humane teachers and unfulfilled love lives, we CETians learnt never to give up. So when the college decided to host DHWANI ’09 in four weeks time, we decided to finish the video. Our urge was back, b’coz Dhwani provides a stage like none other to showcase your talent.

Unfortunately, the final phase of shooting and Raagam coincided. That meant Sid and Shiv couldn’t attend the shooting. Anyways, the rest of us went through the shooting, editing, title creation, etc, and the Video was completed on 3^rd April 2009 at 4pm, just hours before the opening ceremony of Dhwani.

Thanks to the event organizers, we could get the video to be screened in the opening night itself. At 8 in the night, the ceremony began, and the pirate started waiting.

 

11pm

We had been calling one organizer after another. No positive response, other than the “Please wait”. Three hours into the show, they hadn’t put up our video. It was supposed to be a filler. Even though, we saw numerous chances for it to be put up, they just didn’t. I lost my appetite. Dlp went home. The spirit of showing the world what we could do was gone.

 

12pm

My watched beeped. I saw that it was 12 in the night. That meant  4^th of April had come. The show would last not more than an hour now.

“Oru mobillum, kurachu bhavanayum, pinne alppam thollikattiyyum undengil enthokke cheyyam. Itha njangallude utharram.”

When the loudspeakers burst these into our years, we jumped up howling. How else could you relieve the tension, the desp-ness that finally turned into happiness.

And so, at the stroke of midnight, the video “Pinneyum Palavattam” was screened. J