Everything has to come to an end. That delicious cake, this spicy pizza, the first crush, the last pet, those good days, these fleeting moments, this once-cold winter, this forthcoming summer, her smile for you when you left for your flight, his words for you before he left for the heavens, that breath you took, this life we live. Everything, everything comes to an end.
And you don’t have to be an astrologer to predict why I named this post, “The LAST Post” and made that speech in the last paragraph. Because even though I don’t know if blogs have ended before, this one is sure going to end.
Why you may ask. Is it the low frequency of posts, the almost non-existent readers, or is it just me taking the advice of those-who-shall-not-be-named and closing shop?
Well, it’s all of the above, and none of the above. How, and in what sense, I will tell you a bit later.
There was a time, when I used to pride myself over myself. I thought that I’m so skilled, that any more skill would physically hurt me. That was just a year or so ago. That was when I was in college, and on the verge of breaking out with a “Great” job.
A decent CGPA, three working robots, three popular videos, two posts of leadership and good technical know-how, coupled with communication and managerial skills made me seem invincible to myself. And it was with this air of haughtiness that I walked into that first interview of my life.
Getting through three rounds of tests, GDs and programming skills was tough. There was individual brilliance in each round by different people, but I could see that I was the all-round consistent performer with shades of brilliance here and there. And ever since the company announced it was coming, I was confident that I would get the job, if I only could just make it to the interview. Like I had said before, even though I was just a fresher in the 7th semester, my resume looked mouth-watering with all the projects, the software skills, the competitions won, and the extra-curricular activities.
But I had forgotten one thing. There were two people in the room for that interview. Even though I was confident of not-screwing-up, there was no way I could stop the interviewer from doing so. But he did exactly that. After one look at my resume, he threw it on the table, deciding that I was doing computer science. And he started asking me big-*** questions in relational database. And you can only imagine my state then. My first interview, my “dream” company, and it was turning out to be a nightmare of epic proportions.
It wasn’t until 15 minutes into the futile questioning that he picked up my resume again, looked through it once more, and asked me the first question I could answer with full confidence.
“Oh!! So you are in Electrical branch?”
“Yes.”
That word couldn’t have possibly come out of my mouth faster.
“I thought you were in computer science.”
After 10 more minutes, a battered me was shown the door. Little did I know that this was the first of many a harrowing experience. With the treatment meted out to me by this company, I decided against joining any IT company. Now, my one of my strong forte in college was in embedded systems (read “three robots”). And so, the decision to join a good embedded system based company wasn’t hard to make. There started my wait for the Mahindras, the Boschs, the Nokias and the Samsungs. Since I had no intention in joining any core companies, I didn’t feel any problem in skipping the tests for L&T, Saint Gobain, etc.
Then, before the known embedded companies came this unknown player. Let’s call this company ME, for easiness. I didn’t know anything about ME, and I was actually planning on skipping this one too. But once my dear friend, Rohan.S.John said that ME was actually an embedded company, I decided to give it a try.
Ten minutes into the PPT of ME, and I knew that it was just another core company. I was about to walk out, without writing the test, but my campus recruitment officer didn’t allow me. So, I wrote the test, got through it in first place; went for the GD, passed it; attended my second interview, aced it. The buzz among the reps of the placement wing was that, they had heard the interviewers suggest my name as the best of the lot.
But when the result came a week later, it was not me, but another person who got through. I felt like a guy who was invited to his ex’s marriage, made to go there, but sent home without giving him any food, after watching her getting married.
Anyways, a month after it, I was sitting at home with two jobs – Infosys and Accenture. I had to succumb to parental and peer pressure - the fact that most of my mates had at least one job, and my parents nagging me with that fact.
My record at this time was something like this.
Attended – 7
Test Cleared – 4
Interview Cleared – 2
Pretty good considering the other figures floating around me. And this gave me more confidence as I started writing for the embedded companies.
Fate wasn’t still done with me. I wasn’t able to clear any of the tests, then on, no matter how much I prepared, performed or prayed. And, by the end of March, I was looking at a future in Infy or Accen, which were nowhere in my scheme of things just six months before.
Bur with a big, resounding hit on my back, my fortunes turned. This said “hit” was delivered by my friend, Ganesh, who brought the good news that ME was offering me a job. It was like a hungry person getting a sumptuous meal, a blind man getting to see the Taj Mahal, or simply like someone falling in love.
And about a year after that day, here I’m, sitting 3000km away from home, in Gurgaon, writing this out, thinking how my life got out of my control. The answer to that question slowly formed in front of me over the last few months.
416. That’s the number of times I have used the word, “I” and its derivatives till now here.
I, me and myself made sure that my ken was shrouded by ego, making me fall, without knowing that I was falling.
In my mother’s words, “Ennu nintae ahankaram kurayummo, annu ninnakku nallathu sambhavikyam.” (When u stop being egoistic, good things’ll start happening to you). I always thought that she was cursing me, but it wasn’t until I hit rock bottom that I understood what she meant.
It was the truth, and nothing but the truth. By March, my levels of ego had ebbed away, paving way for me to get the good things. GS Engineering & Construction became the first good thing to happen. Something which got me out of a rut, and I shall always be thankful to GS for that.
And finally, coming to the reason why I’m stopping this blog. It’s the high mast of my ego. “What it means to be HARI”. What else can say that I’m all about me? And trust me, I have changed.
I know that a JUST-GOOD-ENOUGH CGPA, three ALMOST-working robots, three popular-ONLY-INSIDE-CAMPUS videos, two INCONSEQUENTIAL-posts of leadership and BASIC technical know-how, coupled with DECENT communication and managerial skills was what I had.
I have seen the world, and it had taught me that I was a frog inside a well.
I don’t command attention, I must seek it. People won’t read my blog if I start out saying I’m one step above them. I’ll have to request them to.
And this is why my dear friends, I’m stopping this blog, and starting the new one,
www.husemeplz.blogspot.com
