The LAST Post

Everything has to come to an end. That delicious cake, this spicy pizza, the first crush, the last pet, those good days, these fleeting moments, this once-cold winter, this forthcoming summer, her smile for you when you left for your flight, his words for you before he left for the heavens, that breath you took, this life we live. Everything, everything comes to an end.

And you don’t have to be an astrologer to predict why I named this post, “The LAST Post” and made that speech in the last paragraph. Because even though I don’t know if blogs have ended before, this one is sure going to end.

Why you may ask. Is it the low frequency of posts, the almost non-existent readers, or is it just me taking the advice of those-who-shall-not-be-named and closing shop?

Well, it’s all of the above, and none of the above. How, and in what sense, I will tell you a bit later.

There was a time, when I used to pride myself over myself. I thought that I’m so skilled, that any more skill would physically hurt me. That was just a year or so ago. That was when I was in college, and on the verge of breaking out with a “Great” job.

A decent CGPA, three working robots, three popular videos, two posts of leadership and good technical know-how, coupled with communication and managerial skills made me seem invincible to myself. And it was with this air of haughtiness that I walked into that first interview of my life.

Getting through three rounds of tests, GDs and programming skills was tough. There was individual brilliance in each round by different people, but I could see that I was the all-round consistent performer with shades of brilliance here and there. And ever since the company announced it was coming, I was confident that I would get the job, if I only could just make it to the interview. Like I had said before, even though I was just a fresher in the 7th semester, my resume looked mouth-watering with all the projects, the software skills, the competitions won, and the extra-curricular activities.

But I had forgotten one thing. There were two people in the room for that interview. Even though I was confident of not-screwing-up, there was no way I could stop the interviewer from doing so. But he did exactly that. After one look at my resume, he threw it on the table, deciding that I was doing computer science. And he started asking me big-*** questions in relational database. And you can only imagine my state then. My first interview, my “dream” company, and it was turning out to be a nightmare of epic proportions.

It wasn’t until 15 minutes into the futile questioning that he picked up my resume again, looked through it once more, and asked me the first question I could answer with full confidence.

“Oh!! So you are in Electrical branch?”

“Yes.”

That word couldn’t have possibly come out of my mouth faster.

“I thought you were in computer science.”

After 10 more minutes, a battered me was shown the door. Little did I know that this was the first of many a harrowing experience. With the treatment meted out to me by this company, I decided against joining any IT company. Now, my one of my strong forte in college was in embedded systems (read “three robots”). And so, the decision to join a good embedded system based company wasn’t hard to make. There started my wait for the Mahindras, the Boschs, the Nokias and the Samsungs. Since I had no intention in joining any core companies, I didn’t feel any problem in skipping the tests for L&T, Saint Gobain, etc.

Then, before the known embedded companies came this unknown player. Let’s call this company ME, for easiness. I didn’t know anything about ME, and I was actually planning on skipping this one too. But once my dear friend, Rohan.S.John said that ME was actually an embedded company, I decided to give it a try.

Ten minutes into the PPT of ME, and I knew that it was just another core company. I was about to walk out, without writing the test, but my campus recruitment officer didn’t allow me. So, I wrote the test, got through it in first place; went for the GD, passed it; attended my second interview, aced it. The buzz among the reps of the placement wing was that, they had heard the interviewers suggest my name as the best of the lot.

But when the result came a week later, it was not me, but another person who got through. I felt like a guy who was invited to his ex’s marriage, made to go there, but sent home without giving him any food, after watching her getting married.

Anyways, a month after it, I was sitting at home with two jobs – Infosys and Accenture. I had to succumb to parental and peer pressure - the fact that most of my mates had at least one job, and my parents nagging me with that fact.

My record at this time was something like this.
Attended – 7
Test Cleared – 4
Interview Cleared – 2

Pretty good considering the other figures floating around me. And this gave me more confidence as I started writing for the embedded companies.

Fate wasn’t still done with me. I wasn’t able to clear any of the tests, then on, no matter how much I prepared, performed or prayed. And, by the end of March, I was looking at a future in Infy or Accen, which were nowhere in my scheme of things just six months before.

Bur with a big, resounding hit on my back, my fortunes turned. This said “hit” was delivered by my friend, Ganesh, who brought the good news that ME was offering me a job. It was like a hungry person getting a sumptuous meal, a blind man getting to see the Taj Mahal, or simply like someone falling in love.

And about a year after that day, here I’m, sitting 3000km away from home, in Gurgaon, writing this out, thinking how my life got out of my control. The answer to that question slowly formed in front of me over the last few months.

416. That’s the number of times I have used the word, “I” and its derivatives till now here.

I, me and myself made sure that my ken was shrouded by ego, making me fall, without knowing that I was falling.

In my mother’s words, “Ennu nintae ahankaram kurayummo, annu ninnakku nallathu sambhavikyam.” (When u stop being egoistic, good things’ll start happening to you). I always thought that she was cursing me, but it wasn’t until I hit rock bottom that I understood what she meant.

It was the truth, and nothing but the truth. By March, my levels of ego had ebbed away, paving way for me to get the good things. GS Engineering & Construction became the first good thing to happen. Something which got me out of a rut, and I shall always be thankful to GS for that.

And finally, coming to the reason why I’m stopping this blog. It’s the high mast of my ego. “What it means to be HARI”. What else can say that I’m all about me? And trust me, I have changed.

I know that a JUST-GOOD-ENOUGH CGPA, three ALMOST-working robots, three popular-ONLY-INSIDE-CAMPUS videos, two INCONSEQUENTIAL-posts of leadership and BASIC technical know-how, coupled with DECENT communication and managerial skills was what I had.

I have seen the world, and it had taught me that I was a frog inside a well.

I don’t command attention, I must seek it. People won’t read my blog if I start out saying I’m one step above them. I’ll have to request them to.

And this is why my dear friends, I’m stopping this blog, and starting the new one,

www.husemeplz.blogspot.com

The Season - Episode 1

The way my final year at college shaped up would be of the range of the final Harry Potter book. But what made it even better than that was the way I got my job. The whole drama, stretching over a year can be compared to a comedy TV series or a year at some league for a club or a feel-good movie. The initial setbacks, the incessant heart breaks, the half time reprieve, the loss of everything you wanted, the never say lost attitude, which was later found out to be plain ego (this being the part where the obvious truth hits you in the face), the last fight, the unbelievable luck, the happy ending. It had it all.

Maybe that’s why I decided to call it ‘The Season’. How over the course of twelve months I found out a lot of things the hard way, only to realize that I had learnt these lessons long back. Normally, you would put the moral at the end of the story, but I’m going to give it right now.

Never have an ego bigger than your shadow at noon.

How this is applicable in my life, as I’m sure it’ll in yours, will be described by me below. I’m going to describe my final year in the way a manager would file his monthly reports for his football team. Hope you have fun reading it.

Pre-Season

The pre-season was pretty much a local affair. Before I go into the details, let me give you an idea of how things were. Since joining CET, my parents wanted me to keep up a ‘decent’ 8 pointer by the time I passed out. It’s not that I didn’t try. I did what I thought would be enough in the first year. Sadly, the University wanted more. And ever since my seniors gave me these ‘valuable’ advice,

•It’s hard to get an 8 pointer average after getting 7.5 for the first year.
•If you can maintain a 7.5 average, you’ll get a decent enough job.

I decided that instead of trying to do something ‘impossible’, I should better find ways to use my time at college so that I’ll have all the fun I could have there. (By the way, there are people who got an 8 pointer average after getting in the 7’s in first year, and there are people who scored a big job, even with a just above 7 average).

Luckily the ‘extra-curricular’ activities that I decided to take part in didn’t ruin me. It actually helped me in having a commendable resume by the time companies came. But it also was the basic reason for the swelling of my ego bubble.

Anyways, let me talk more about the job scenario. Recession was at its best during June 2009. You couldn’t ask for a worse time to look for a job. And here we were, about 500 students sitting inside the college (see, I didn’t use the word ‘class’, but the word ‘college’ ;) ), hoping someone would come, call us up and give us a job with a fat paycheck, like we used to dream about when we joined the college.

And there was the choice of career that was made by two kinds of people – the pure hearts and the self-conscious fools. The difference was in the ken of the two kinds. The pure hearts knew where they were going, and the self-conscious fools thought they knew where they wanted to go.

Broadly speaking there were four types of jobs on offer,
1. Core Engineering Jobs. (CGPA > 8)
2. Management Jobs. (CGPA > 7.5)
3. Embedded Systems Jobs (CGPA > 7.5)
4. Software Jobs (CGPA > 6.5)

And my order of choice was Embedded, Software, Management and Core.

So, with a difficult environment, a bleak chance at the crown, but with a puffed opinion of myself, I did my pre-season preparations. I went around asking seniors for ‘advice’ (I never learnt to stop doing that.) And that’s when I found my first love. A 5 lakh a year worth payday, located at Bangalore, great working atmosphere, wonderful work in the field of my second choice. Words used to flow in torrents when DSK described his company. He hadn’t even joined then and he was having a jolly time thinking of going there. It got all those juniors who listened to make THOUGHTWORKS his dream company. But before I go into the tryst I had with TW (that’s what we called it), we’ve to go through the month of July. And man was it a month to remember.

July

Sometime in the middle of July, when we were just back after another university, we started hearing rumors of it. IOC was coming to campus, 7.8L CTC, government job to top off everything great and nice about it. And, dispelling the rumors it did come. That’s when the season started for us, CET 2010. Ten people each from Electrical, Mechanical and Civil were called up based on CGPA to attend a direct interview. On the date of the interview, we had actually planned an IV (a real one to NTPC). But since many of my friends were in the top 10, I decided to go with them later. I was planning to go to college and support them for their first interview, but I ended up playing cricket at Poojapura the whole day. But in the evening, I heard the happy news.

Four people from Electrical became the lucky ones to get a job first. And it included my project mate. I was happy as I could be. But that was not for long.
When I told at home about them getting the job, my parents were giving me another perspective. What if I had actually studied and got an 8 point average. I could have at least attended the interview, and maybe come home saying “I got a job.”

They didn’t actually hate me. But they hated the way I wasted my chances in life. And seeing them sad made me wish I had done things differently. Sadly, there’s always a time for everything. And now wasn’t the best time.

And with August showing no companies coming our way, we were left to our own thoughts and devices. I was preparing, for my dream company, TW which came soon enough.

aliya..

I took out my mobile and typed, "aliya.. whr u?? i'm in kadu.."
Sent it to everyone in my gang.. And dis is d chat tht happened aftrwards..

Jaison - I'm in class patti.. Why the heck did u cut class?
Me - Oh.. oru mood illa.. I cant sit in his class without fallin asleep..
Ponni - da.. i'm comin.. wait.. i'm near post office..
Jaison - Ivide padippichu thallukaya.. wht u gonna do thr??
Me - Ponni's comin.. Gonna play cricket..
Jaison - Ponni's in lab manda..
Me - He got out early.. othrs comin too.. :P
Jaison - dey.. think he's endin class now.. come n get attendance..
Me - I'm thr in one minute..

All this wud hav made more sense if it had happened atleast two months before, not today afternoon..
Atleast if,
Jaison waasnt in pala,
Ponni wasnt in Bengalaru,
and I wasnt sittin in the cafeteria in my office in Gurgaon..

I know me sending that message made as much sense as counting stars. But, like counting stars, I did it because its something which inspires me. I didnt know what to expect as replies. But when these came in, there was pure emotional bliss inside me. Eyes swelling up (even right now), being at a loss of words, knowing it was something special, something great. Would have been even better if it had even a faint chance of happening in the future.

But I dont say that everyone replied the same. Some said, "is there a forest in gurgaon?". Some talked about their new jobs. Some said "Good one :D"

It wasnt a joke, it wasnt a statement.. It was a call to the past. But alas, past is something man doesnt know how to bring back to life..
All these simply means that there will be no more waking up at 7.45 to catch the college bus at 8, no more general choriyal before 9, no more boring lectures, no more cutting class and going to panjarakadu, no more smsing to friends who were in class, no more meaningless talks, no more cricket in front of LH, no more crowding around people who brought lunch from home at 12.15, no more walks to lakshmi's to find it full at 12.30, no more discussions on whether to have lunch or not in front of chechi kada, no more drives to ICH at 12.45 for further lunch, no more tryin to get in class at 1.15, no more waiting for it to be 4, no more lab records to write, no more procedures to study, no more assignments to write (actually, copy ;) ), no more waiting around at kadu till the last gal has gone into LH (we were the unofficial guards of LH; counted the number of ladies going in each day), no more night meets at zam zam, no more friends, no more college life, no more CET.

Groupism

Politics is the field you normally associate groupism with. Internal groups, groups formed with other parties, alliances, etc etc. All groups are characterized by a strong patriotic feeling for the group. All groups are identified by a strong feeling of dislike for other groups. But not all instances of groupism are like this.

I have been the architect of many a group among my friends since my school days. If it was the LAKE SUPERIOR club till tenth (the reason for the name is a story in itself), four of us (Deepak Jose, Josey Mathew, Sooraj Balakrishnan, Myself) decided at the threshold of our adulthood to take on Microsoft with a company of our own, MastermindS.

I don’t know why I make all these groups. Maybe I need a name to have the feeling of belonging to something. Maybe I'm an evil genius, who is out to ruin the pious nature of friendship, with masked techniques of destruction. But like always, I can’t decide which group I belong to. And like always, I'll leave it to my friends to decide.

Anyways, college provided me with a new platform of eventful surroundings and friendly strangers to start new groups. Hence, the 'Super Six'.
Having shared the second and the third benches in our first year class for the first four months, in all permutations and combinations that is possible amongst us, and because we all had similar interests and familiar choices in life, I decided to give a name to our unofficial group. Hence, the 'Super Six' was born, comprising of Deepak.R (dpk), Krishnadev (kichu), Shivan (shiv), Siddharth (sid), Sivaharsh (siva) and myself. Though only shiv was interested in the concept then, I'm happy to see that everyone has got the feeling of belonging to this group at the end of our four years together.

My second group was one, which had an aim. To make robots. A big dream like this required us to put in big amounts of money. To reduce the amount per head, we increased the number of members, from the usual four to fourteen. Chaithin (cak), dpk, deepu (omana), Dileep (dlp), jaison, Rohan, shiv, sid, siva, Indu, Mrieene (Masci), Lakshmi, Sruthi and myself became the flag bearers of 'Nymphadora'. We struck gold the 1st time we contested, though that was almost all that we ever won. :D

A two month preparation, which was capped off by five days of non-stop work at a hostel room at NIT, Calicut made me decide I had enough of robotics. Not because I hated to work, or hated the work. It was because our sweet little robot decided at the competition venue, that spinning in circles at the starting point would be more fun than doing what it had been doing for the past few times. Trying to solve the maze.

I also had a withering love life to look into. The then gal-of-my-dreams wasn’t taking any keen interest in me. This prompted me to utilize more time for wooing her. After the failure of all my incredible ideas and incessant proposals, a dejected me found solace between the lines of 'Palavattam'. Equating me in real life to the character played by Salim Kumar in the song was the idea of kichu. Using that as an inspiration to make a video was the idea of 'The Latest Pirates'. Originally founded by cak, dpk, dlp, shiv, sid & myself, Arun.A (ponni) was brought abroad for our future ventures.

'Pinneyum Palavattam', 'In engg clg', 'runaway 2 fame', and 'Sagar Aliyan's Suppli' are the videos that we have released till now. An unnamed project is yet to be released. As in the case of the first video, each of our videos depicted an aspect of the typical college-goer. The theme of the video, the style in which it was taken, and the support of friends made this group of mine the most famous, the most successful one of mine yet.

Even though everyone would agree to my above statement, I would gladly disagree at any given moment. The most endearing of all my groups came in the last year. I like to call it 'One6'. You might be tempted to say that it’s just another number, but it’s an important number for me, because it represents the number of people I've come to cherish the company of. Anoop (pajji), cak, dpk, Deepu (abraham), dlp, Jayashankar (jaishu), Jaison, Kichu, Sreeram (kurup), ponni, Rohan, Sanal (saku), shiv, sid, siva and myself make this sixteen. No one among us were like the other, we had lots of internal bickerings going on, but none of that prevented us from having the best of times together. Words fail me in describing the memories. The sad thing about the group is that we have been scattered along the length of India, from Trivandrum to Delhi. But we have made a promise to each other; that we will never forget the memories we had together, or the people who helped in creating the memories.

There's one another group I’m a part of. Having just three members, it’s the smallest possible group ever. And it wasn’t christened by me. My friends tagged us, Indu, masci and me, by the name of 'Love Triangle'. Don’t misunderstand the term 'love' in the name. It’s there, just for the sake of giving some sense to the name. But the three of us share a deep bond of friendship, which I hope we will continue over the years.

After hearing all this, you will be able to understand my reason, if at my death bed, I write 'GROUP', when asked which word will sum up my entire life.

Usually..

Usually, I write my blogs at mid night, when I'm left alone with my imagination and my inspiration. Its different this time. It is evening. Kids are enjoying the last day of their vacations, by wrecking havoc on the streets. And I'm not inspired to write about anything.

Since I started blogging, the two topics I always itched to write about were job and leaving college. I've got a job in the weirdest and the wildest of circumstances, at the most unexpected time. Though it was incessant rain in a blistering desert for me, I could not make myself put finger to mobile, and type in my blog about it.(did I forget to say that type in my blog into mobile first?? :D)

Which brings me to the other topic.. COLLEGE. My final lab's in two days, course viva in one week. My better friends start leaving town in two weeks. I myself leave in four. No one has any idea on when or where we will meet up in the future. To make matters a bit more difficult, I'm placed at Delhi, a decent 2000km away from the nearest person in out batch. But even this demanding situation has failed to inspire me.

I've never been more uninspired in my life. And the funniest thing is I don’t know why. If I were a writer, people would call this a writer's block.(You may say that writing a blog is writing, but I prefer to call it an art.)

The cliché dialogue, which you would find in every man's mind, is that love is the inspiration that makes every fool an artist. So, maybe I'm not able to write anything, because I haven’t loved anyone in the past one year.
Or maybe, it’s the emotional overload that I'm going through right now, which has blocked my arteries of feelings, making me a failure at putting thoughts into words.
Whatever the reason, whatever the solution, I've enough sanity to say two things..

1. I thank the woman who called me six times before I answered the phone, for giving me this job.

2. I thank all things beautiful for giving me great friends and a magnificent campus to hang out with them.

My Pkadu

Never thought I would sit alone in our famous panjarakadu.. It’s not that I always had my girlfriend(s) to be with me here, but some friend - boy or gal, would give me company.. always.. In four years of engineering studies, this is the first time I'm actually alone here..

For those of you who ignorant about our kadu, it’s a collection of aptly spaced acacia trees.. The kadu is strategically located in front of the LADIES HOSTEL and near to the college front.. So, all guys, both with and without girlfriend(s), make it a point to utilize their 'cut' hours here.. At any point of time, you can spot at least two couples in our kadu.. That however is a case of the past..All couples were forced to find new shelters of love, because of a few..

Specifically, us..

Cricket had always been at top of our agenda.. So much so that we used to play inside classrooms till third year.. After that, we couldn’t play anywhere because of space constraints.. Grounds were a long way off.. We had to get bats, enough people to play.. Work of any sort was despised by us..

At the begining of S6, there was another failed attempt to play at the ground. Seeing the futile process, we decided to go to the kadu for some entertainment. That’s when we saw this large clearing right in the middle of it. For some odd reason, this clearing had never been noticed by any one of us. And that’s the moment, he made his appearance.

Apple fell off a tree to inspire Newton to develop the theory of Gravitation. An acacia branch of perfect length inspired us. Ball in hand, a bat-like thing in front, just enough space around, hunger for cricket within. We decided to play right there, right then. Our eyes went around the clearing. Three couples. We would have to clear them out. We first thought about asking them to clear out. Realizing that would be cruel thing to say, we opted for plan B. We started playing.

And, as per our plan, the noise, the runaway ball and continuous swearing, made the couples fly away. And they never came back..

A new constrained venue meant that we had to make new rules for the game. We adopted the one-pitch cricket game rules.

1. All types of bowling with all variations - over arm, under arm, side arm – are allowed. Basically, bowler needs to launch the ball to the keeper.
2. The batsman needs to touch the ball with the bat without getting out.
3. And there’s no team. Everyman for himself.

The game has evolved over the year. Preposterous rules and perfect location for side businesses has attracted players from other branches to try and make a mark in this intriguing contest. It has made mice out of lions of the cricket field, and has given success to many an underdog (ME, being one of those stories). It has given rise to new techniques and terms for the cricket field.

• Stock ball – developed by sivaharsh. Throw the ball up into the air and make the batsman wait. According to him, this involves trajectory planning and projectile motion.
• Deepak’s kutti – deepak’s favorite shot always leads the ball to this tree.
• Siva’s point – a tree we assigned to sivaharsh, because he won’t stand anywhere else.
• Shiv’s reverse – shivan’s reverse sweep to LH.
• Kozhi shot – Running down the track, jumping on one leg, turning the bat from slip to bowler n hoping that the bat makes contact. Developed by, yours truly.

Some of you might be concerned about the love birds we chased away. Don’t worry. They found refuge in the new bike bay. And because of the bike bay’s concealed nature, they love our intrusion into their previous haven.

Over the past two semesters, we have had lots of unforgettable experience here. I would have never imagined me climbing a tree to get a retrieve a stuck ball, and hence make a batsman out, if it wasn’t for this game. Nor, could have I known that you get ice for 50ps at chechi kada, so that you can give it to the gal, whose face you just accidently hammered with the ball.

Most of our seniors say that panjarakadu is the first thing that comes to their mind when they think of college. I think we have made one more reason to think of it, after we pass out. And that’s why, when we decided to coin a name for this hobby of ours, we decided to call it

“Panjara cricket”..

2012

Going into the final semester at college, all of us are apprehensive about our future. Should I jump the GATE, or bell the CAT?? Or should I just settle down with a job?? These are the main questions concerning us right now. But time and again, new questions pop up.

‘2012’, the movie was an eye opener for most of us. Even though I haven’t seen the movie, I was fascinated by the possibility of the world that we know, ending one fine morning.

The following was a sms conversation that happened between a friend and me, during

midnight, when incidentally, I was googling for the fact and fiction about 2012.

Friend: “Awake?”

Me: “Yeah.. Readin abt 2012..”

Friend: “Had a stupid panic attack about dying. Had to talk to someone”

Me: “Wo.. Are you tryin to scare me?? Or did you really feel lik dying?? I was thinkin of all d things i wanted to do, if world ended in 2012..;-)”

Friend: “You believe in god right?”

Me: “Yeah.. N i believe he 'll keep me alive as long as he wants me to live.. But for now, i jst want simple wish. To be d king of d survivin humans, if somethin bad happens in 2012..;-)”

Friend: “I didnt feel like dying. I was just panicking about the stuff afterwards. What if there is nothing after?”

Me: “If there is nothin aftr, i won’t be d least worried.. Cos then, I'll be in heaven.. At least i hope to be there.. N if i'm stil aliv, I'll happy cos GOD chose me to continue the human race..”

Friend: “That is the problem. What if there is nothing like heaven and god. What if it is all a lie we tell ourselves?”

Me: “in tht case, v wont be around to think abt it.. Btw 2 things 4 u to do.. See 'I am legend' n visit d site www.survive2012.com.. 1st tells u wht happens if u are alone in d wrld.. n 2nd gives you facts about 2012”

Friend: “I never want to stop existing :(“

Me: “I'm repeatin d same thing here.. Even if it happens, it'll only be in d last few secs tht u get this thought of non-existence.. Til then, no prob.. After tht, no prob..”

Friend: “I dont care about 2012. The world won’t end then.”

After this, there was a ten minute break.

Me: “U still desp?? Dont be.. K.. If it happens, we get 3 more yrs.. If you want to feel better, think abt d fact that anyone can die in d next sec..

So live til u cease living..:-)”

Friend: “Me thinks it is all this studying and staying home alone tht did this to me. It will be over by tomorrow. Tomorrow is bro's Bday”

Me: “Thts great.. Wish him a happy bday from me.. Btw lik u said, maybe its d loneliness thts causin this.. We've our last sem frm next wk.. So think abt tht frm nw..”

Friend: “Life will go on for us :) . Thanks for the talk. Am back to normal i think. Gnite :)”

This is just a normal conversation happening instantaneously. Even though the words and sentences came out without much prior thought, there are a few points to be noted from here.

1) We all don’t want to die. That’s for certain. We want to live as long as we can.

2) The world’s end at 2012 has made us question the existence of heaven and hell, but mainly we wonder if there is anyone called GOD.

3) Even in the midst of all these doubts regarding our very existence, we still find time to celebrate moments like birthdays and final semesters.

Every blog must have an aim, a purpose. That’s been my motive. But I just don’t know what

I mean to do with this one. Whether it’s to point out the subtleties of human nature or my fascination about the whole concept of the world ending, I just don’t know.

Bible is said to have predicted 2000 A.D. as the end of the world. But nothing happened. You may say this gives more reason for calling the Mayan theory a hoax. But the Mayans were even more advanced than 19th century scientists. They had calculated the no of days in a year to .01% error in 3000 B.C. It was only in the early 20th century that scientists could reach that accuracy. But we have to remember that the Mayans did that sans gadgets. So, considering the fact that the Bible came out in the beginning of the 1st century, it could have erred by some 13 years. That puts the Mayan theory on the correct track.

Only a handful of Mayan books are known to the world, thanks to a Spanish priest. He ordered all books to be burned; because he didn’t want the world to follow the Mayan principle of human sacrifice. The books that have escaped, along with the engravings on the Mayan buildings, give us an idea about their calendar. It is not endless like our calendars. Mayans believed that everything in life is a cycle. Their calendar cycles are at 5125 years interval. From what has been deciphered, it is known that the Mayans believed that a great change will occur at the end of each cycle.

The pessimistic philosophers keep saying that a comet would come and hit the earth; the magnetic poles would reverse causing the earth to stop its rotation; earthquake all over the world; nuclear holocaust; anything bad could happen, according to them.

Some of my optimistic friends sat that it will be just a change in the order of the world; some even going to the extent of saying that our dear India will be at the top of the world.

These people may know or don’t know about what they are talking about. But I do know that I believe in the efficiency theory. Every system has a peak. If it tries to go beyond that, it will slowly deteriorate, and finally breakdown. There are plenty of examples around you to support that theory. Now consider the earth with all its inhabitants as a system. It is evident that we have attained the peak of being civilized a long time ago. Look around you. Murder, arson, rapes, conspiracies, death, famines, floods aplenty. Lawlessness seems to be holding good for both Mother Nature, and us humans.

To end, all of us will be waiting with bated breath for the gloomiest day of 2012, the winter solstice happening on December 21st, to know whether the world’s gonna end.

The Last Wish

16.08.09

"Do you remember your ammumma's chettan...? He was tall... Like you... I think taller than you... Six feet four... Five..... No one was there to take care of him in the end... We decided to take care of him... He was bed ridden…... He had asked me to get him a bottle of kallu in the end... He said even a half would be enough... I asked him how I could get him that, when I have never bought one...”

“He said... There is a shaap at the junction... Just go in and tell my name... They'll give you my usual....... But I could not bring alcohol inside the house to give to a sick old man... My morals and the fear of what society will say made me reject his request…... A few of his fellow drinking friends used to visit him... I asked him to get the stuff through them………. He died without getting that last drop...... I have never felt bad about what I did till now... But now my conscience is hurting... I feel his pain because I’m in the same stage now... It would be same, if someone didn’t get me a cigarette or a pakku before I die…”

“One doesn’t know how much longer one is going to live at my stage... Getting one last chance of enjoying our favorite thing will be heaven on earth for us….. I declined that chance for him……. I did a terrible thing…... It was wrong…... I should have bought him that….. I could not understand him then…...”

“What if someone doesn’t understand me at my end...? I just wish that I don’t have to be bed ridden... I don’t want to make my children suffer... I want to die in one go….... You know, the best death is when you die in your sleep... You go to bed like always... You close your eyes... You never wake up…... But only lucky people get that... I hope I’m lucky…...”

“Why are you talking like this?? You are not that old... You'll live long...”

“What will I get by living a longer life?? I will be causing more trouble for you...”

“Taking care of you is not a trouble... It’s our duty...”

“It’s a duty….. But as I get older, my bodily systems will get weaker... I'll need help... Always….. Then, it'll be troublesome for both you and me... And I don’t have much more to see in this world... I would just like to see your chechi's marriage and you getting a job... Just one more year will be enough for me... I just hope that I don’t get bed ridden.......”

21.08.09

12.20pm

"Sorry... The person who collects the bus fees has gone out... Please wait outside...”

“Now, we gotta wait till he gets back..... My phone's ringing... It’s from home...”

“Kannan, come home now….. Appupan is not well... Its urgent…get here fast...”

“Aliya, it was my Mom... She said Appupan is not well... She was crying... I'm going home... Tell others... K...”

Mom meets me at the gate... She's not crying... Though it seems that she was crying... Mom takes my helmet from my hand... She starts crying... In the midst, she says, "Appupan poi."

He went the way he liked... He fell down unconscious in front of our gate on his way home from the barber's... No broken bones or anything... Just a few scratches... I felt guilty... I could not give him the perfect exit... I must have got him his last cigarette, or at least his last pakku... I would feel guilty about it forever... Since I had planned stocking one of each at home, if the need arose... But I didn’t think the end would happen so soon...

Slowly the news of his last few actions came in... He had talked to people standing just near our house... They said he was cheerful and hadn’t shown any pain or exhaustion... The doctor also said that he died because his heart stopped beating... Not a stroke, but his heart just stopped pumping blood... So the end came fast like he liked...

Then came the message that made me happy... The local grocery man came to the funeral... He said, "Sir had come to my shop before coming home... We talked for a long time... Just before leaving, he bought a packet of pakku...”

That line told me why he was smiling even when he went down... He was savoring the taste, while coming home... Little did anyone know that it was he was taking last chance...?

Ever since my chechi's marriage was fixed, Appupan wanted it to happen no matter what happened to him... So, keeping in mind his last wish, we are going ahead with the marriage... That’s the least we can do for him now...

I would like to end this with words taken from a post we received from a colleague of Appupan...

"I pray to Lord Padbhanabha that may his noble soul rest in eternal peace"

I

In spite of the variety in shape, size, habitat, etc, there are four things common to all living beings.
1. Food
2. Air
3. Water
4. Sexual Union

Any sane man will be able to validate the above statements. But, it would also be the same as saying that us, humans, are like the billions of creatures that inhibit this planet. But no sane man will say that the humans, who have infected the land all over the world like an epidemic, are just the same as the common snail.

It is said that GOD created the world in one go – you know, the Big Bang. He was pleased and proud of what he created. But the problem was how long one can hear oneself speak good of himself. Eventually, after a few million years, he got bored. That’s when he decided that “Enough is enough. I’ll give a special gift to one of my creations. “

And so he gave MANKIND the gift of KNOWLEDGE. And it’s with that, we built this world. And for each step we took – from taking the first step on moon to passing the last university exam, we thanked him in different forms – as Krishna, as Jesus, as Allah, etc. Though all of us say “Thank You” to different persons, basically, we are saying that to the same person.

But, right now, I’m not here to talk about religion. I’m here to try to find a few answers. Recently, a friend asked me about a good topic for an amateur blogger. Among the topics we discussed, the one which really interested me was “Why would you live for another day?” Or in simpler terms, “What makes you drag yourself to college every day?”

Think of all the reasons anyone would live for. Take my case. For the person I love, for the people who love me, for the dream that I have. These reasons are different for different persons. But they are all based on one common reality. It’s all about “I”.

‘I’ is the purest form of selfishness. Me, mine, my, etc are used to emphasize it. It wouldn’t be wrong to say that the whole world was built on the selfishness of our ancestors, and it runs on our selfishness. All the good and the bad in this world are the result of some selfish act.

There is selfishness when a Jawan says, “I’ll die for MY country.” There is selfishness when a thief says, “Give ME your money.” There was selfishness when Gandhiji asked for OUR freedom. There will always be selfishness when a politician asks for OUR vote for OUR uplift.

Returning to our simple lives, you may not have noticed selfishness, but surely, after just thinking about it, you would clearly accept the fact that SELFISHNESS is everywhere. Words fail me to explain this. It’s something that has to be experienced – the selfishness in helping a friend, in writing an exam, etc can’t be actually taught by word.

So, to sum everything up, the answer to my question is “Selfishness”. The type of selfishness defines the person we are. I can say honestly that I’m selfish in a good way. What about you??

The Pirates are coming

Q. How did the video ‘Pinneyum Palavattam’ come to be??

1. Perfectly planned by the Pirates.

2. Fools striking gold.

3. Parents pressurized us into doing it.

4. Its destiny.

Ans. 4. It’s DESTINY.

 

Actually, it’s just that all the things fell into place in such a manner that even we were dumbstruck to see it come out to perfection.

How it all started off...

It all began in another eventful lunch break, when some of us guys were seeing the original ’Palavattam’. After the video was over, Krishnadev aka Kichu said jokingly that I would be the apt choice for the protaingoist, if a second video of the same song was made. Even though he had reasons beyond similar looks for saying that, the idea just clicked with us pirates. We were the ones who wanted to make a mark on the map of CET, and this was the mother of all opportunities looking at out face. After showing our skills in the technical side, we wanted to do something that could be called cultural. And that’s when we decided to make ‘Pinneyum Palavattam’

 

Start Camera Action

It was just wonderful. Dlp took up the job of being the creative head. He was to be the script writer, director and cameraman, all rolled into one. And he did this mini-Balachandra Menon act to perfection. Cak was going to be the choreographer and I was to be Technical support. While Cak searched the net for cool dance moves, I downloaded video and sound editing softwares in Gbs. (Lucky that I had no download limit). Sid, Shiv and Dpk were to give inputs to us.

The biggest problem we faced in the beginning was what to shoot with.  No one had a digicam. Next choice was mobile phone. We did a few trials with the phones we had, and found out that Nokia 6233 was the best choice we had.

So with a 2.0 megapixel camera and 640 X 480 pixels resolutions, we started shooting some dummy scenes to get some experience. Sad to say, I had only a not-so-good actor in me. And he was pulled out with great effort by Dlp. He had patience and faith that only a saint would show.

 We took every free hour, every strike and even the precious lunch hours to work on the video. Doing this meant that, we missed cricket, pancharayadi and delicious food for work. But we knew. For gaining the better, the lesser has to be sacrificed.

Cut or Pack-Up??

The whole video was of three and a half minutes. Even after five months into shooting, we had completed only about a minute of it or so. The rate at which we were shooting was slower than the storyline of art films, courtesy our university and our college.

When the going gets tough, the tough gets going. Obviously we weren’t the tough type. And we weren’t the professional type either. Or else, we would never have mixed work with personal life. And once that happened, to say that all hell broke loose would be an understatement.  Just picturise this. If we went for an hour of shooting, we would spend 8 minutes pratizising it, 2 minutes shooting it, and the rest I would spent fighting with Shiv. This went on so much that Sid decided to leave. He said,” I came here for having some fun, not see you two bickering.” Next thing we saw was Sid leaving. And with him went Shiv, making me feel like I was the worst possible case of Homo sapiens.

The course of events that followed were such that we didn’t shoot for the next few months. Was it just another ‘Cut’ or the final ‘Pack-Up’, we didn’t know then.

 

The Phoenix rises

The unceasing flow of exams and other work, sponsored by the evil forces, made sure that the video couldn’t be completed even though the differences between Shiv and me were cleared.  The year 2008 passed away without fulfilling our hope, and we sort of lost our urge to shoot.

But when the Phoenix rose in CET, we decided that being CETians meant one thing – NEVER GIVE UP. By undergoing countless exams, hell-like labs, never ending records, not-so-humane teachers and unfulfilled love lives, we CETians learnt never to give up. So when the college decided to host DHWANI ’09 in four weeks time, we decided to finish the video. Our urge was back, b’coz Dhwani provides a stage like none other to showcase your talent.

Unfortunately, the final phase of shooting and Raagam coincided. That meant Sid and Shiv couldn’t attend the shooting. Anyways, the rest of us went through the shooting, editing, title creation, etc, and the Video was completed on 3^rd April 2009 at 4pm, just hours before the opening ceremony of Dhwani.

Thanks to the event organizers, we could get the video to be screened in the opening night itself. At 8 in the night, the ceremony began, and the pirate started waiting.

 

11pm

We had been calling one organizer after another. No positive response, other than the “Please wait”. Three hours into the show, they hadn’t put up our video. It was supposed to be a filler. Even though, we saw numerous chances for it to be put up, they just didn’t. I lost my appetite. Dlp went home. The spirit of showing the world what we could do was gone.

 

12pm

My watched beeped. I saw that it was 12 in the night. That meant  4^th of April had come. The show would last not more than an hour now.

“Oru mobillum, kurachu bhavanayum, pinne alppam thollikattiyyum undengil enthokke cheyyam. Itha njangallude utharram.”

When the loudspeakers burst these into our years, we jumped up howling. How else could you relieve the tension, the desp-ness that finally turned into happiness.

And so, at the stroke of midnight, the video “Pinneyum Palavattam” was screened. J

-2 + 3 = 1

After playing the game for over 17 years, the batsman was preparing for his last innings. It was not his choice to make the next innings his last. It was fate. If he had his way, he would have wanted to play till the end of his life. But he knew that there was little a man could do against his fate. He knew that when he stepped out onto the crease the following morning, it would be the last time he would be doing so.

He had been preparing for this moment for the past six months. He normally didn’t use any material to analyze the bowlers. He liked to take them on the run. But he knew that this was his last. He had to make sure that he ended big. So, very much unlike himself, he got himself all kinds of information on the bowler - how he has bowled previously, what is his speciality, etc.

He knew that only a CENTURY will quench his thirst. But he didn’t know why he needed a century. Just because it was his last innings seemed to be a lame excuse for being selfish. Now, just hours away from the big game, he only knew the end, not the reason. A century would mean the world to him, and his fans. But why??

Not finding any answers to that question, he decided to do one last round of training before he called it day. He was bowled the first ball he faced. It was not that he wasn’t prepared, but the usual concentration wasn’t there. Throughout the evening his shots were below par. It was then that his coach came up to him, and gave him some advice. It was then that he got the answer.

He did need a century. Not only for himself, but for all those who had helped him reach where he was now. His coaches, his friends, his family...He didn’t want to train anymore. He just wanted to take the field the next morning.

When he faced the first ball on the D-day, he knew that all the training hadn’t gone to waste. The balls were the ones he had practiced for. He just hit them to the boundary, piercing them or over them with ease. He was confident in every stroke. He did enough to take him to a century in 1.5 hours. He left the field after making sure that he hadn’t done anything wrong.

Once outside the field, he checked with his mates. He had done everything right. He knew that his would be a well-deserved hundred.

His joy was short lived though. One of his friends brought him the bad news that he had made a simple mistake. He added up -2 and 3 as -1, instead of 1.

There ended his dream run. Now he awaits the result of his match, hoping against hope that the opposition makes some mistake, resulting in his victory.

And he will be waiting and hoping for the next six months.

I knew that Adieu to Mathematics was something that I was not going to like. What I have described above is my last university exam in Mathematics.

Mathematics is not the favorite subject for the most of the students, but I would hold three persons responsible for my extreme love for Mathematics.

1. Remadevi madam, my Mathematics teacher from 1st to 5th std, who made sure that I had the right foundation for playing with numbers.
2. Jayadevan sir, who taught me Mathematics from 12th till last week, who helped me to attack higher level Mathematics with ease.
3. My father, who has been there with me since LKG, making sure that Mathematics was always the subject I enjoyed the most, and the one I always excelled in.

Thank you all.

Supercomputer And Party Poopers

"It can take years to build something, but it will take only a few seconds to ruin it."

Whoever said this, really knew what life is all about. Even though each and every one of us had chances to experience the above, it always comes to haunt you.

Just put yourself in a situation, where you could lose all, or at least some, of your friends one fine morning. All of us in E2 came prepared for this on 25th of August. But our class advisor, by not turning up, gave us the hope that there won’t be any shuffling this semester. We were all very happy with turn of events. We slept well after many a week (weeks full of fear of exams and fear of shuffling). We came to college on that fateful Tuesday, all happy and joy. We cut class and went to play cricket. We were in for a dramatic ending in our last game for the day, when a sms arrived spelling our future.

"We have been shuffled. New class list is available in class."

Leaving the game mid-way, we rushed back to class, to find E1’s staff advisor in our class. We waited until she had gone and entered our class.

I haven’t gone to too many funerals, but I could understand that my classmates were all in grief, as if someone close to everyone had died. As I walked through my classroom to the table where the list was kept, I could see long stares and half smiles coming my way. From the people I got those, I knew my condition before I even looked at the list.

The list bore my inferences. I was to become a victim of shuffling. I was made to join E1. I lost my good friends, who always gave me great company. Almost everyone did lose someone. No one was left unhurt.

Why should there be shuffling, when the people who are to be shuffled feel they don’t need it? Teachers say that it is to break up the gangs. But I can see that the gangs in E1 have been left unharmed. They have either been left alone, or shifted completely to E2. Where else do you hear of such principles other than in our very own CET?

That’s not the end of the baseless claims that we have heard over the past week. We also heard that a ‘computer’ was used to shuffle the students, and that it was done on a ‘random’ basis.

But I don’t think that they have made a computer, which can see through peoples’ feelings and split them such that it will hurt them the most. I don’t think that they have made a computer, which not only splits up the gangs (of both guys and gals) in half, but also splits almost all the love couples, such that the hero is in one class, while the heroine in the other.
That’s why we decided to call this brutal computer ‘The Supercomputer’ - the only ‘computer’ in the world, which can sense the feelings of the people around it. We can be proud of the fact that CET is the home for this cruel machine.

Just when we left ourselves to fate, another thing to be proud of came up last Sunday. We have heard of cousins fighting against each other in ‘Mahabharata’. But we had brother fighting against brother, and that too all over the town. I was not a witness to the events that unfolded at Senate Hall, but my friends have filled me with the details.

I don’t want to talk about who did what first, and why he did so, but I would like all the CETians to visit the Orkut community ‘CET Trivandrum’ and read the topic ‘The lowest level’. All ex-CETians are of the same opinion. No matter which group or section you belong to, it doesn’t matter after you have passed out. After you step out of the college, you are a CETian, nothing less, nothing more. People won’t ask you which section you belong to, but only ask which college you belong to.

The college has been suspended for this week. Since it the marriage season, people keep coming to our house to invite us for weddings. And when they come, they ask me. "Don’t you have college today?" I have to give an answer which leaves me in shame – "There was a fight in our college. So, college is now suspended." I have always been (and will always be) proud to be a CETian. But, right now, I am made to feel bad, because my brothers don’t think about what they do.

I know that our world isn’t ideal. But that doesn’t mean that we can’t leave together. If a few people have superiority or inferiority complexes, then let them leave their life alone. Let the rest of us live together, as one big family.

One of the outcomes of this unnecessary fight is that this years’ Onam celebration, which should have been held tomorrow has been cancelled. This festival, which is to welcome one of the greatest kings in history, has always stood for the unity in Malayalees. All Malayaless, irrespective of religion, caste, financial status, etc have always stood together and welcomed Mahabali.

Next year, this time, I will be having the last chance to celebrate Onam with my college mates at college. I hope that, at least by that time, my brothers realize the folly of their actions and come together to celebrate as one unit – CET….

I just wish that CET will always be known for the write reasons.

The Pasture of Lunacy

Before going into this blog, let me explain to you the new title. ‘Pasture’ means grassy land suitable for grazing cattle. ‘Lunacy’ means insanity. Now, you will be wondering what I mean by ‘The Pasture of Lunacy’. Pasture is a grassy land, i.e., it is green. Now, we normally associate green with things related to the religion of Islam, traffic lights, and also, as an opposite of the color Red. Red is symbolic of blood, and hence, violence and such not-so-good things. Hence, we can say that Green, being the opposite of Red, means good. We can conclude by accepting the fact that by ‘The Pasture of Lunacy’, I mean ‘The Goodness of Being MAD’.

If you care to look around, you will see that I have changed the theme of my blog. If you care to scroll to the very bottom of this blog, you will notice that most of my earlier posts are deleted. If you care to visit my Orkut profile, you will find that my profile name is ‘harisankarsa – Undergng de LUNATIC Revolutn’. Revolution represents dramatic changes. And by undergoing the LUNATIC revolution, I have bought about significant changes in my view points about life. In the present context, my future is my priority, and my past is of least importance. That is why I have deleted those earlier posts, which link me to my memories. And, as you would have guessed by now, the change in theme represents the change in my outlook. In short, it is an all new 'harisa'.

The Big bang was caused due to unknown reasons. Countless number of divorces occurs due to unknown reasons. I got an 8 pointer in S3 due to unknown reasons. But this change in me was ignited by known causes. A few horoscope messages, an enlightening sms, quite a lot of disputes and hours of solitary thinking. Mix the above ingredients together, and you have the recipe for one perfect Lunatic revolution.Some things in life are meant to be found out the hard way. So I won’t be giving out the entire recipe here. But I will give you that sms which started it all.

“A boy proposed to a girl. She rejected him. Even though he was snubbed, he wasn’t sad. Seeing this, his friends asked him – “How can you not be sad at a time like this? Don’t you have feelings?” The boy replied – “Why should I be sad? She is the one who must be sad. I lost the one, who never loved me. She lost the one who loved her the most.””

In the present state of my blog, I will be voicing my opinions about the world, about my life, about anything I see around me, and of course, my first love, LOVE. And I will not be restricted in my words, because I am insane and I am expressing myself on “The Pasture of Lunacy”.

101 things I would like to do...........

Somethings in life can be forever....Here are 101 such things I would like to do.

01) Swim with wild dolphins
02) Climb a mountain
03) Take a Ferrari for a test drive
04) Be inside the Great Pyramid
05) To Say ‘I love you’ and meant it (Actually,I have done this one already)
06) Hug a tree
07) Bungee jumping
08) Visit Paris
09) Watch a lightning storm at sea
10) Stay up all night long, and watch the sun rise
11) See the Northern Lights
12) Go to a huge sports game
13) Walk the stairs to the top of the leaning Tower of Pisa
14) Grow and eat my own vegetables
15) Touch an iceberg
16) Sleep under the stars
17) Take a trip in a hot air balloon
18) Watch a meteor shower
19) Look up at the night sky through a telescope
20) Have an uncontrollable giggling fit at the worst possible moment
21) Have a food fight
22) Have a snowball fight
23) Scream as loudly as I possibly can
24) Hold a lamb
25) Enact a favorite fantasy
26) Take an ice cold shower
27) Have a meaningful conversation with a beggar
28) See a total solar eclipse
29) Ride a roller coaster
30) Hit a six out of the ground
31) To dance like a fool and not to care who was looking and to be proud of it
32) Visit the birthplace of my ancestors
33) Actually feel happy about my life, even for just a moment
34) Have three hard drives for my computer
35) Visit all the states of India
36) Love my studies for all accounts
37) Have enough money to be truly satisfied
38) Have still more amazing friends
39) Dance with a stranger in a foreign country
40) Watch wild whales
41) Steal a traffic sign
42) Take a road-trip alone
43) Rock climbing
44) Midnight walk on the beach
45) Sky diving
46) Never to be heartbroken longer than I was actually in love
47) In a restaurant, to sit at a stranger’s table and have a meal with them
48) Milk a cow
49) Pretend to be a superhero
50) Sing karaoke
51) Lounge around in bed all day
52) Scuba diving
53) Kiss in the rain
54) Play in the mud
55) Play in the rain
56) Do something I should regret about, but don’t actually regret about it
57) Drop Windows in favor of something better
58) Start a business
59) Fall in love and not have my heart broken
60) Have a sword fight for the honor of a woman
61) Be in a movie
62) Crash a party
63) Love someone I shouldn’t have
64) Be on television news programs as an “expert”
65) Get flowers for a person for no reason
66) Perform on stage
67) Buy and play with a favorite childhood toy.
68) Sing loudly in the car, and not to stop even when someone is looking
69) Write articles for a large publication
70) Pilot an airplane
71) Ride a horse
72) Sleep for more than 30 hours
73) Visit all 7 continents
74) Apologize to everyone I had hurt,even if its after decades
75) Communicate with someone without sharing a common spoken language
76) Be stranded in an island
77) Take 100 push-ups
78) Go without food for 5 days
79) Make food from scratch
80) Miss being eaten by a shark
81) Buy a house in an isolated place
82) Be in a combat zone
83) Perform in place of the college band
84) Name a constellation of stars after me
85) Survive an accident that I shouldn’t have survived
86) Drive any land vehicle at a speed of greater than 100 mph
87) Fire a rifle, shotgun, or pistol or any gun for that matter
89) Sleep through an entire journey
90) Have my picture in the newspaper
91) Go back to school
92) Have a cockroach as a pet
93) Kill and prepare an animal for eating
94) Write my own computer language
95) Think to myself that I am living my dream
96) Build my own PC from parts
97) Sell my own artwork to someone who doesn’t know me
98) Have a lemonade booth
99) To die thinking about dying
100) Discover that someone who’s not supposed to have known about my blog has discovered it
101) Discover that one such person found out that this is a modified version of their blog.............